Father from Highlands diagnosed with terminal cancer sets up fundraiser to help sons pay for his funeral
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A HIGHLAND-born man is raising funds to help his sons pay for his funeral after being diagnosed with terminal cancer.
Iain Smith (53), a former Hilton Primary and Inverness Royal Academy pupil who now lives in England, near Portsmouth, was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma in February this year with doctors giving a life expectancy of just nine months.
Now the father-of-four, who was widowed only four years ago after his wife Sarah died at the age of 46 of a sudden cardiac arrest, said he wants to make sure everything is arranged for his funeral.
“When my wife died four years ago she didn’t have a funeral plan and it was an absolute nightmare to sort it all out,” he said “It was chaos, so I swore that my boy Harry, who lives with me, will never have to go through that.
“This is the second time I have had the same type of cancer, but I beat it the first time round. I was first diagnosed in 2017 and after several rounds of chemo and radiotherapy it had gone away.
“I had a symptom of coughing in November last year and I knew that this was the cancer coming back.
“My oncologist thought it was an infection so I was put on antibiotics for a while. Then they decided to put me through the CT scan and that showed the cancer was back.
“I wasn’t that surprised when they told me it had come back as I knew within me that it had returned. But then they said there was nothing we could do other than giving me quality of life.
“I told them that’s all I wanted, so I could organise to say goodbye to my children and to plan the funeral.”
Mr Smith is father to Jay (21), Rocky (20), Harry (19) and Blane (17).
“When I first got the symptoms, and because of other conditions I suffer from, I told Harry that if they offered me chemo I would not do it, I am going to go out graciously,” Mr Smith said.
“He said: ‘Dad, that’s all I want, I know you have been struggling.’
“I was a bit scared of telling him that. He is my rock.
“Now I can have the funeral as I want, as I see fit. And now I know exactly what’s going to happen, what song will be played, and I’ll record a video to be played during the funeral, and then I can say goodbye.
“I feel fine organising it. Because I am in control, and it’s a massive relief to me that there won’t be that pressure on my sons.”
As a result of his diabetes, Mr Smith also suffers from peripheral neuropathy and Charcot foot, a condition of the foot and ankle caused by an inability to sense injuries.
He said: “I have basically been walking on broken bones, and I have lost the arch of my foot.
“This is really painful at the moment, my quality of life is not affected much by cancer but it’s been non-existent due to the other conditions I have. It’s not the fault of the palliative care team, I know they are doing their best to help. I hope this will improve in the near future, I think that if I had to get rid of my Charcot foot or cancer, it would be the first one I’d choose.”
Mr Smith has now raised just over half of his £4000 goal.
“I know that people don’t have much now so I am really grateful for anyone who has donated. Every little helps,” he said.
After the death of his mother when he was only three-years-old, he lived with his aunt Margaret on Dell Road in Inverness up to the age of 12, when his father – who was in the navy – decided it was time for the teen to join him in Gosport.
“I didn’t really want to go but that’s what my father wanted,” he said.
Accompanied by his son Harry, who lives with him and supported him through the illness and diagnosis, he is planning to come back to Inverness next month to meet old friends and family.
“I wanted to go back to say goodbye to certain people,” he said.
“I still have some cousins and old friends from my days at Hilton Primary and I have kept in contact with them.
“For me it will be a great opportunity to show Harry parts of Inverness and the Highlands. He was just a baby when we were here the last time and I can’t wait to share this moment with him.
“When I was younger, I remember going on trips to Loch Ness – it was almost too much at times. But then I came back years after moving to England, and just seeing the landscapes – it was breathtaking.”
Anyone who wishes to donate to the cause can do so at gofundme.com/f/du6npn-my-own-funeral
