Christian Viewpoint: Unconditional love means exactly that
Register for free to read more of the latest local news. It's easy and will only take a moment.
My chat with Simon Spence had hardly begun when he spoke enthusiastically about his belief that God not only loves us unconditionally, but also likes us, writes John Dempster.
“There’s nothing to be afraid of,” he says. “Unconditionally really means unconditionally.”
Simon is a Black Isle-based counsellor and psychotherapist. He is also a Christian. But he is not, he insists, a “Christian counsellor”. He works with people of all faiths and none.
Simon’s clients often talk about the spiritual dimension of their lives. Many feel enabled to share very personal things, which they wouldn’t usually discuss with others, let alone in a religious context, where they might feel judged, or pressured to conform.
Unconditional acceptance of clients is crucial in the person-centred therapy which Simon offers. This acceptance includes clients’ personal spiritual beliefs (or lack of them).
The counsellor assures us by their whole demeanour that we are valued and accepted, just as we are. In this safe space over the course of therapy, we are invited to share whatever we wish to; maybe things we’ve told no one else, things perhaps which come to mind for the first time as we’re sharing.
Being unconditionally accepted we can learn to accept ourselves, and inner transformation can begin. “I think when we feel valued we start blossoming,” Simon says.
Paradoxically, the more we can accept ourselves, the more we feel able to change and grow.
This process is not unlike the Christian faith journey. We experience God’s love and acceptance of us, despite there being things in us which are harmful. We find the freedom to change, and we become more fully alive.
Simon dreams of Christian churches becoming ever more accepting communities, where people listen to one another, “where everyone can feel there’s a place for them” and “have a sense of being loved and liked for who they are”.
But such love is often hard to find in churches – as we lose sight of the unconditionality of God’s love, our own love for others falters.
Now here’s an interesting thing: in Simon’s experience people who are Christians, people of other faiths, atheists and agnostics can all find themselves
led into a fuller, more joyful life as a result of being unconditionally accepted.
It looks like wherever people are on their inner journey, the “great mystery” at the heart of all things is at work. Psychologists might call this movement towards life the “actualising tendency”, while Christians might say it’s “the work of the Holy Spirit”.
It seems to me that every movement towards experiencing life more fully and deeply, whatever the language someone uses to describe this, is prompted by the God whom Christians believe is seen most clearly in the life of Jesus Christ.
Related: Christian Viewpoint: Choose life
'I can rest secure when my family are under one roof'
