Ullapool mother shares her story of baby loss in bid to raise funds for SiMBA
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An Ullapool woman has shared her heartbreaking story of baby loss in hopes to raise funds for the lifeline charity which supported her through the grief of losing a child at birth.
After having her first child, Nina Hilton from Ullapool faced two miscarriages, and became pregnant again in 2012.
Everything was going well until Nina had a bleed at 12 weeks. She said: "I was convinced I lost the baby then...There was so much blood. But they did a scan, and the heart was beating away so we carried on, watching out for bleeding."
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Nina was shuttled up and down to Ninewells Hospital in Dundee on false labour, and as a result of the many hospital trips, Nina says that her medical notes were in a mess.
When Nina did go into real labour prematurely, she was taken to Raigmore Hospital in Inverness, approximately 58 miles away from her home in Ullapool.
"I was extremely stressed. Two hours into labour I developed clear signs of infection," Nina said. "I had a high fever, and my daughter's heart rate was going up and down. They were still just monitoring us.
"There were no signs of life, they tried to resuscitate her for 11 minutes. It did not work."
Baby Emily Anne Scott Hilton was lost four minutes before birth, on December 11, 2012, in Raigmore Hospital.
"At 28 weeks she was a perfectly, fully formed baby. She had curly blonde hair, she even had her eyelashes. She was just beautiful.
"It's been eleven years and I'm still so angry."
"They just said 'We will give you some time with her', and left us to it. We didn’t know we could take our own pictures of Emily, and by the time the hospital staff took their pictures the next day by then she’d changed. The photos don’t look like her."
The hospital gave Nina a Simpson's Memory Box Appeal (SiMBA) memory box. Nina said: "At the time I was just disgusted, because I didn't want to walk out with a little box – I wanted to walk out with my baby."
The charity describes the Memory Box as much more than just a box, it's an essential tool to help parents to gather as many memories as they can of the precious time that they spend with their baby. Every Memory Box is made up by a SiMBA volunteer, and is prepared with care and attention.
Nina continued: "But now I’m so glad I have those photos, I would have had nothing without that box from SiMBA. We made a place in our living room for it – We’ve got her box, and we have a candle there which we light every year on her birthday on December 11, and on October 15 at 7pm for a global wave of light during Baby Loss Awareness week.
"SiMBA is so important because they provide training as well as memory boxes, and they help set up bereavement rooms for parents to spend time with their babies."
"That first year after Emily, me and my husband were just going through the motions and looking after our oldest. She kept us busy, I don't know how we would have coped without her.
"I had my Emma a year after Emily. Even though there were no complications with her, I was terrified at every stage that something would happen. I really fought with my consultant, I actually spoke to a couple before I settled on one, to make sure we were on the same agreement, and that he would let me do the pregnancy my way.
"Eleven months later we had our son Lachie. I was very lucky that I was able to go on to have two more pregnancies."
"It's uncomfortable for everyone to talk about, but its nothing compared to the discomfort of the parents going through it.
"My advice is to newly bereaved parents is to take each minute by minute, day by day. You really do have to advocate for yourself with doctors. If you don’t agree with their decision, speak up."
Explaining more about the baby loss support facilities implemented in Raigmore Hospital, a SiMBA spokesperson said: "In Raigmore Hospital we have a family room which includes cuddle cots. We have a good presence in Inverness. We've also provided 1028 memory boxes in the Highland region since 2017.
"We were really struggling for funds at the start of this year, and facing a crisis towards the end of last year. But now we are starting to get back on our feet again.
"The Raigmore Hospital family room is also getting refurbished towards the end of this year."
You can donate to SiMBA via www.simbacharity.org.uk and find out more about the charity's work.
