WHO CARES? Magical evening catch-up offers respite from Covid gloom

I took a mad gee at the start of November and got in touch with everyone I hadn’t spoken to for a while to see how they were doing. Some great catch up sessions were held via text, and several ‘dates’ were set for walks, meals out and longer conversations.

On Wednesday I met up with my lovely niece (one of nine I have through my three sisters and two brothers, and there are also four nephews). As we last met face-to-face before lockdown, we decided to make an occasion of it and go to The Kitchen in Inverness. We were delighted to be shown to the top floor where the illuminated views of the Ness river and the Castle reminded us of how lovely the town is when you see it through visitors eyes.

It was marvellous hearing news of one of her twins just off to university and the adjustment of the whole family to his having left home. Also sharing common things that had befallen us over the time of the pandemic and the different effects it has had with her family having had the virus and other periods of isolation having been pinged, and our virtual shielding and the anxiety of our boy about everything connected to it.

The staff are very good at discrete service, and we were soon the only ones on the top floor and chatting away nineteen to the dozen, then we realised that we seemed to have the restaurant to ourselves. A quiet Wednesday and all the other diners having eaten earlier meant that our occasion became even more special as we could completely relax and talk openly – something you can’t do as well by phone or text. A magical evening indeed.

Then this Saturday morning, I spent an hour and forty minutes on the phone with a great friend who I haven’t seen for just over a year since I was helping her with shopping as she and her husband were shielding. They were neighbours in our last house and although they have now also moved, we have kept in touch and used to visit each other’s homes alternately each month. She has been like a surrogate Mum to me since I lost my own Mum and I miss her hugs dreadfully but they are both over 80 and have some health conditions that make them especially vulnerable to COVID, so they are still in a form of shielding by limiting contact with all but a few family members and infrequent basic shopping trips.

This is what frustrates me about the no man’s land we find ourselves in just now.

There are many people still afraid of leaving their homes and therefore living with COVID means something very different for them. For my family, we are doing a bit more but in a very restricted way, wearing masks except when outdoors, sanitising everywhere we go into, and avoiding any situation where we have to go into a group of people we don’t know well enough to understand the risk we are taking.

For us, I think that will be the situation for some time to come – managing our own risk for the safety of ourselves, keeping our boys anxiety as low as possible, and avoiding carrying the virus to any of our family and friends without knowing we have it. Because that is the dangerous part of this virus. You can’t know who has it, even whether you do yourself.

Karen is Mum to an autistic teenager and campaigns for the rights of unpaid carers to be supported in their caring role and involved in the decisions that affect their lives and the lives of the people they care for. You can find her on twitter @Karen4Carers.

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