Ross-shire James Support Group for families affected by suicide branches out to Moray
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A ROSS-SHIRE charity which supports those affected by suicide, as well as those with suicidal thoughts, is bringing its service to Moray with its first meeting in Elgin this month.
The expansion east coincides with the fourth anniversary of the James Support Group, which was founded by Cromarty couple Patrick and Wendy Mullery just a few months after the death of their own son, father-of-three James, aged just 28.
"We started the group up simply because there wasn't any meaningful help for us at all," Patrick said.
"When you are bereaved by a natural end of life death, that's bad enough, but when it is a suicide – particularly when you lose a child – it intensifies the grief because you don't understand the reason behind their decision to take their own life, so finding some peer support from people who understand what you are going through is by far the best response.
"We get comfort from holding the meetings. It helps us, knowing we are helping others. And the groups are run like a little family. Everyone seems to know each other."
James's mother Wendy added: "What is difficult is that there is no closure. How can someone you love be laughing and drinking coffee with you and then, a few hours later, be gone? So many people we have met have similar stories.
"These are all the things that come out at meetings. We try and help people, but at the same time, we are still going through it ourselves, so we all become a little bit of a family and all become very protective of each other."
The James Support Group, which achieved full charitable status in October 2020, now holds regular meetings in Inverness, Thurso, Dingwall, Invergordon, Aviemore and Nairn, as well as offering one-to-one counselling sessions and a 24/7 helpline, and the move into Moray is a logical progression, with monthly meetings now planned at Elgin Sports and Community Centre.
"That is down to demand because there was nothing else there," Patrick said.
"It can be difficult for someone new to come to the meetings, so we sit and talk with them for 10 or 15 minutes and then walk in together to break the ice to try and make it as easy as possible."
Covid has created "a perfect storm" to make the situation worse, Patrick added.
"The main demographic is young men and that is not going to go away any time soon. The main demographic is young men and until men and boys are encouraged to speak about their emotions then we are always going to have a problem."
The first Moray meeting was due to take place at Elgin Sports and Community Centre on Trinity Road on Thursday, April 7 and then every four weeks afterwards.
For more information on James Support Group meetings check the group’s website at www.jamessupportgroup.com, visit their Facebook page or call the 24/7 helpline on 07563 572471.
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