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Who Cares? – The journey to adulthood is upon us


By Hector MacKenzie

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Karen
Karen

SUMMER is an odd time when you have school-aged children.

You adopt a strange mix of people management, event co-ordinator, servant, driver, confidante, chief cook and bottle washer.

We spend the dark winter nights longing for summer, and then for most of the six weeks that the school is barred to us we are desperate for the start of the autumn term.

If the kids are 14 to 18 years old, you probably have the added joy of the long wait for exam results to factor in.

What remains is a scheduling nightmare for all parents, especially those who work whether part-time or full-time. Do you split your holiday with your partner so that you don’t get away together, but you need less childcare? Do you negotiate with family members to engage in a game of pass the parcel, where the parcel has a will of its own and can easily throw a multitude of spanners in the works? If you are lucky enough, as we are, to have an offspring who is old enough to amuse themselves during some of the time, the load may be a little lighter.

However, you can’t escape the worry that lurks in the corner of your brain which niggles about all the troubles and misadventures that they could be getting into while you are diligently fulfilling your contract with your employer to turn up and do what they pay you for.

Of course, this year we have had the added delight of an almost complete refusal of the weather to do what it is meant to do and actually send us some warmth and sunshine. I know there have been odd days here and there and even the exceptional whole week where we could extract ourselves from our woollies and turn the heating off. But they have been few and far between.

I work in Invergordon and this summer I have often felt very sorry for the poor souls disembarking from the giant cruise ships wrapped up in puffa jackets, hats and scarves as they try to enjoy the scenery that is doing its best to hide behind a thick shield of cloud so low it is almost at their ankles. I’m sure they were sold the notion of the glorious purple heather clad mountains and the ‘shortbread tin’ Scotland full of singing and dancing be-kilted natives.

The grey reality that we have endured has tested them as much as it has the parents attempting to be full-blown holiday camp reps for their families. But there have been some very nice days and we have been lucky to enjoy several of them while we toured the country in search of hitherto unseen lifts to add to the boy’s collection. His increasing confidence and independence have been hard won but are now working in our favour allowing a cuppa in a café to take the place of accompanying him to every shop and car park.

It still takes a bit of nerve to watch him disappear off into a crowd in an unfamiliar city, but he will soon be a young adult and we have to allow him to find his feet because his last year at school is now under way and although the next steps are not yet clear, they will not involve us sitting at his side, so we have to move forward.

We are very proud to be able to report that his hard work over the last year has borne fruit and his exam results were excellent, which means he will hopefully have several options to consider. It will be a struggle for us all to make this next leap forward, and no doubt you will hear about our trials and tribulations via this column. But the journey towards adulthood is upon us and this summer’s end marks the beginning of a whole new phase that will excite and terrify us in equal measures no doubt. We just have to hold on tight and try to enjoy the ride.

Karen is Mum to an autistic teenager and campaigns for the rights of unpaid carers to be supported in their caring role and involved in the decisions that affect their lives and the lives of the people they care for. You can find her on Twitter @Karen4Carers.


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